ShoeDazzle: A Shoe Whore's Wet Dream

.... and.... um... WHY didn't I know about this before???

Excuse me while I go wipe the vapors from my brow!!

If you don't know what Shoe Dazzle is .. well.. sister, I'm here to educate you. Just as soon as I punch in my credit card numbers!!

And wipe more vapors.

Ok. I'm fine now, thank you.

Shoe Dazzle is a website started by the ultra fab Kim Kardashian. It's like a shoe of the month club. Yes, you heard me right.

A. SHOE. OF. THE. MONTH. CLUB!!

And not only THAT.. it's a shoe of the month club for gals who are ON. A. BUDGET!!

Wait.. I better get a paper bag because I'm going to start hyperventilating!!

Ok.. so I know you're just drooling over your keyboard wondering how this works, right? RIGHT?

It's really simple:

You create your style profile by selecting pictures of shoes or accessories that best describe your answer to the given question.

You're also asked to pick which designers you like.. what make up you prefer.. where you would like to shop and who your style icon is.. among other things.

Then you pick your age range.. your shoe size and dress size .. create an account and there you have it. The Shoe Dazzle personal stylists will send their picks (based on your answers) to your "showroom" and if you like them, you buy them. You're only charged after your order.. and guess what? It's only $39.95.

Uh huh... you read that right. $39.95!!! Even Payless and Kohl's and Target are starting to charge the same price and what do you get? Styles that you'll most like see someone else wearing in a five miles radius.

Every month, thee will be a new selection to chose from. You can either skip a month (do that before the 1st and 5th in order to not get charged) OR you can ask for different selections.

They also have sales.. and a personal styling hot line if you're someone that needs to talk to a human. What else? Free shipping in the continental US and free returns if they don't fit or whatever.

Granted .. this isn't for everyone. But if you generally buy a pair of shoes or more a month then you might want to consider this.

Click HERE to jump on over to the website.

Foot Savers: Easy Feet

Really?

REALLY?

You know.. I'm all for things that make life easier or better. AND I'm all for the novel.

But REALLY?

Easy Feet advertises itself as THE way to clean your feet because you know, YOU don't know how to do it yourself which makes you get into bed with dirty feet.

No lie. Watch the promo video.

But me.. being me.. just had to give these a shot.
They're like over sized man sandals that have suction cups underneath and tooth bush  like bristles on the bottom and underneath the strap.

A CAR WASH FOR YOUR FEET!! Obviously. Insert smirk here --> ___________

Let me get the minor irritation out of the way.

The bristles were too soft and flexible for me to think that my feet were getting any cleaner then when I wash them myself and I really had to move my foot around and backwards and forwards to get any kind of sud-age.

But what I think really makes these things dangerous is that the suction cups didn't stick to my tub the way they were suppose to so when I was moving my foot around trying to get some suds going, the suction cup stopped sticking and the man sandal went flying across the tub.

It's a good thing that I was anticipating that because if not, I would have went flying with it and did some real damage to myself.

I tried it on different areas of my tub.. same thing.

Now, the makers of this product want you to believe that these are safer then standing on one foot and using a wash cloth on the other.

I don't agree.

The makers of this product want you to believe that you are inept and cannot wash your feet properly without these.

I don't agree.

Generally, adults know how to wash themselves and even if you don't, just standing in a tub of soapy water during a daily shower will do the trick.

So I don't recommend these.. unless it's a gag gift or you don't like your mother in law and have taken out a huge insurance policy on her.

Foot Savers: FootzyRolls

$30 at FootsyRolls.Com

Sometimes.. just sometimes.. it isn’t feasible to be wearing heels all day.

Or maybe.. you’re a bridesmaid and you’re required to wear a pair of heels that your hatred for is ONLY surpassed by their mission to pinch and bind and rub the balls of your feet raw.

OR maybe your at a holiday party and the shoes your wearing are SO bad ass but require you to be carried from the car into the event and then back to the car.

If you have to go to the bathroom.. you’re screwed.

Possibly you’re a model going on “go-sees” and have to run all over town .. up stairs.. down stairs.. in the subway.. across 6  lane streets…

You get the idea, right?

Well.. FootzyRolls will save the day.

For thirty bucks you’ll get a pair of ballerina flats that fold up so you can carry them in really inconspicuous places.

They come in a wide variety of colors :: mine are sparkly silver because I love making a spectacle of myself!! :: and have a non-skid sole. They come with a pouch for the flats and a larger pouch to hold your heels. Granted, you may not be able to tuck your heels into a clutch.. but I’m positive you’ll be able to find someplace for them until your ready to head back to the comforts of your pig fuzzy slippers.

Instructions? Like..m.. you couldn't figure it out?

The photo on the right here shows you just how simple and convenient FoostyRolls are.

Check out their website HERE to see all their colors and styles.

If you take the plunge… let me know how you like them!

Fear Has No Place In Your Shoe Closet...

Manolo Blahnik 2008 Collection

How many times have you been in department store.. or at the mall.. and saw a gorgeous pair of heels?

You may have been seduced by the style of the shoe or fell into it’s pool of color and texture but one look at the long, thin heel made you gently put them back and sigh.

” .. I could never walk in them” you say to the girlfriend you’re with. “I’d fall and break my neck”

Sound familiar??

Now.. if I was the girlfriend you were shopping with I’d shove those heels back in your hands and say OH YES YOU CAN and OH NO YOU WON’T!!

Because believe me.. if I can do it.. so can you!

The first time I wore a pair of heels :: Candie’s circa 1979 with a brown mock clog front and ankle strap :: was at my 8th grade graduation and I think my mother was just so damn happy that her tomboy daughter would even consider wearing heels that she had a momentary lapse of parental judgement.

I started out that night walking like a freakin’ Frankenstein-ian truck driver and ended it gliding around like I was born with them on my feet.

What changed in those few hours is my determination .. and as long as you are determined, you’ve won half the battle.

So here are a few tips to help you join the ranks of the Stiletto Army:

Christian Louboutin *sigh*

Before dropping a paycheck on a bad ass pair of heels, try picking up a pair that only costs a couple of Jacksons first. Many of today’s discount shoe places are a great resource for beginners.

Always try them on before you buy them. Walk up and down the aisles a few times to get the feel of how they fit your foot. Don’t worry about what the sales people thing. Who cares.. they’re not going anywhere until their shift ends and I’m sure they could use the entertainment!

But remember.. walking on carpet is a lot different then walking on concrete or asphalt.

Look for a sole that is flexible. THIS IS KEY! The more the shoe bends.. the more comfortable and natural your stride will be.

If you are a newbie, then I suggest you find a shoe with a thicker heel. A thicker heel is going to give you more stability. Remember, just the added height is going to freak you out a bit and make you a little wobbly.

Most of all.. you need to practice. Where them around the house.. up and down the steps.. that kind of thing. You’re going to need to develop calf muscles and your foot will be in a position it’s not used to. If necessary, walk around on tip toes just to get your feet, legs and back used to being in that position.

Luckily for the balls of your feet, there are tons of different pads and gel pads and foam pads that adhere to the bottom of your to give your feet an added cushion and prevent your foot from sliding.

Pretty soon.. you’ll have the confidence and ability to wear stilettos like nobody’s business.

Just don’t tell them your secret!